Sooooo I started the current virus quarantine thinking- Wow, I’ve got extra time to actually get a workout in after 5am for a change! What I didn’t reaaaallly think through was the fact that I also had more time for other things. Like eating. Drinking. Watching Netflix in yoga pants until my butt made a permanent impression on the sofa -surrounded by sea-salt and vinegar potato chips. If only I had more Nutella.
In an effort to soften my new Jabba the Hut lifestyle, I purchased an online, low impact, no jump, workout program designed for 2 weeks. I can do that, right? Wrong. The first day, I was just an overall fitness test and some general stretching. I couldn’t reach my feet or do a single pushup, but hey- we all have to start somewhere. I was all, I’m strong! This is great! Let’s celebrate! A lovely cabernet found its way after dinner, and while I did not drink to the point of waking up in an odd location with a can of Spam in one hand and a branding iron in the other- I was in no shape the next morning to join Dufus McHappypants and his workout program that included mountain climbers, sit ups, and planks. What was I thinking? There wasn’t enough coffee in the world.
A few days later, I regrouped. I figured it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if I just skipped the hard workouts, and went straight to the light yoga portion of my program. I had my mat, my smell-good candle lit, and settled down for what was going to be a relaxing, meditative workout. That lasted less than 30 seconds. Lilly and Bedford decided that mom’s new stretchy-bendy time was a new opportunity for getting up close and personal. Nothing like getting your proud warrior stance on and having two dogs weaving in and out of your legs, licking your ankles and bringing you toys. I’d ask them to sit down, but it was like playing Whackamole. I could put them outside of the room, but I’m a sucker for whining dogs. Yeah, yeah- I know. Who’s wears the pants in this family?
So here I am. The proud owner of an unused, two week fitness program, two stinky- but loving mutts, and a well stocked liquor cabinet. Sigh. I’m gonna need another pair of yoga pants. Cheers!
Harp, Wine, and K9's 